Charity and Minus

When Minus becomes awake once again, early, in the morning-most hours, you would think him a cyborg.
He seems programmed for awakeness, for success and composure!
He is drawn from the bed as a four year old is drawn to a half melted waffle cone, two scoops!
According to Minus, coffee is welcomed, though not necessarily required, and he enjoyed a light snack in between waking up time and the next thing. Some days, Minus even took off without the need for fuel at all! The fullness in being alive, awake! took him from start to the end, of the day and everything there is to say about him, and usually at a decent time!

Charity, however, keeps his eyes closed well after he has lost that long black veil of sleep, and prays that it will come back. There is always a responsible reason to egg him out of bed, though. And he does comply.

Every step is labored, every thought drenched in fifteen different facets of query and perception, intentions and reactions, lessons learning, lessons learned- test! Always a test, everyday a test, to Charity. The following day being the grade, but also, another test. Maybe it was karma, or maybe he was as neurotic as a Woody Allen character- but Charity noticed the way things balanced out. He paid note to the connections between his actions and the circumstances he navigated.
Coffee is welcomed, and requested. Then again, so are so many things, for Charity is never satisfied.




I want to get to know people, be a round peg in a round hole, and belong with a crowd brought together in a socially organic manner while still being and independent and confident member of society? What is it like to feel like you have done that right?
Like, all right. With a circle around it...
Don't get me wrong, I have my moments, but they shatter.
How do people keep control of that good moment-mode, knowing that they are important and interesting and insignificant at the same time with out anyone expressing it (unless they want to get laid) and still keep a straight face?

People rarely speak directly about what is or is not significant.
Why things are or are not what they may or may not seem to be.
We don't express ourselves fully, due to some kind of commitment to propriety, or acceptability- or just because folks have to behave a certain way in order to attract one another or not.
Just another biological brain fart from the heavens.

I listened to my self sing and play the guitar on a recording which was made a few days ago in the coffee shop. I was surprised at how different my voice sounded on the recording than it does in my head.
I can already see parts I need to re learn and I understand how I will need to improve, now that I have listened to it from a different perspective.
Something tells me that this will be an ongoing, long term hobby!
Hearing my singing was strange, but hearing my speech was bizarre! The phrasing I use, the tones, the rhythm, everything is weirdly not what I hear in my head. I sounded so proper, so fragile and lovely.
For the first time I realized since sis coined the term that I don't know if I want people to know about that.
Maybe I should work on changing my speech voice too. Even the way I speak is unsure, powerless, fragile, and lovely.
I don't like it.

I bet people don't talk about what's really significant because they have no fucking clue, and there are some who are interested in wondering, and those who are interested in adapting, screwing and evolving through this biological chemical reaction that is the Sick Significant ride we call Life.
(as in get a life, or live life to the fullest.)