I like it. It makes me feel like a drag queen!

What do you do when a beloved family member falls ill?
Not just "ouch- that sucks! Sorry for you" ill. I mean, "Two weeks to go there, big guy!" ILL.

It's an inappropriate thing, to sit and wait for a person to die- there is nothing that you do do, that is more appropriate than anything else. For one of us, there is a trip to Arizona, hundreds of dollars, tears, and the first time reunion in a long time of family and friends at an inappropriate event. For both of us, a zone of reflection, support, reflection of life.
To be shrouded by the hazy, unknown veil of looming life's end is to gaze with complete openness into the face of life- the surface of that clear pond. Beneath the surface of the sheer mirror is a world so close, but unknown- never really known.

Fred's greatest fan, as he constantly reminds me, is his paternal grandmother, DarDar.
The second love of her life has had three brain tumors thriving, unseen for months, despite six months of treatment for Bell's Palsy. The doctors have transferred him to hospice.
DarDar is living in Arizona, with her family in Texas and Washington. Fred will be postponing his visit until a time when he will not be "in the way", as he puts it.
When?
Who knows?

Until then, we are floating in a space filled with music, cleaning, gardening, cooking, eating, and surviving the rain. The song we are listening to now is a strange mix of tones, vibrations and special effects which transports me from my existential grump, to a stage- lights, disguise!
Entertainment, nourishment, that flutter that happens sometimes with the right song- all things to do when awaiting death, I suppose.

It's still bullshit.

This is not a picture of my Vinca, or Periwinkle. It is a picture from the internet that I thought was pretty.
My Vinca is half trampled, but still my first pop of not green color around the house, besides the pathetic narcissus by the front door which has bloomed, as well.
Yay.
The flowers bloom, the beloved do not heal.
Puts a damper on this whole "break in the weather".