I'm going to be Quiet Today

Above the peninsula off of the south western most coast of Washington state, clouds pooled heavy in the atmosphere.
Days coped up in the little red house gives one a sense of comfort so soft it is stifling.
A sore throat, a slight concussion from ramming into a sharp cornered piece of furniture,
wrapped around in tight coils, directing the course of the meditation.

The days become weeks, marked by the short visit from a friend, the contemplative shower
in mid morning, the rush to gather up one's self a heft the groggy mass into the daylight.
Days weeks, moments days, without a care for the day's name as now there are so so many more to remember.

Friends become as estranged, distant family, forgot.
The lover you live with becomes as a close pal, living in a house just like yours.
Love isn't what you thought it would be, now.
Life, and it's so called time becomes too short, and fat with confusion.

They say open up, and life will too, like a flower open up to your senses.
They say, don't care so much about others and what they think, you will benefit.
They say production, education, moving and knowing the names and functions of all things you touch
are things so important, they define your name.

So my name then, is not the name I was given when I came into the world?
So my name is what I make it?
So I should have this power of creation and sight to become the energy I move?

So many enter my space and judge the energy there, as though they can hear my intentions spoken like words.
They coment and try to put my attention into place for me, with their supposed divine ability.
Always my throat aches with confusion for their well meant gesture for they are always far away from what is.
Or am I wrong then, and they know better about my life and how I should be, with their years and names and qualities they have evolved and created for themselves, and the world as they see it.
To open up, to share is futile. It's impossible to be seen in completion by anyone else, so to base anything on what is deciphered there, is foolish.

Wake up to the rain clouds, let them be, I say.
I can see what is a blessing in my life, I can see the fruitful essence of my little world.
I can feel also, the shadows and foolishly arranged battalions placed in ignorant strategy around my psyche.
There is a time for all things. The sort of dull roar of youth will pull at my insides till I am ripe with confidence, until then, sometimes ache will sound through any blessings presented.

I'm going to be quiet today.